Four times Crow and Jack did extremely stupid things
by Animedemon01
Summary: Four times Crow and Jack did extremely stupid things (and one time they were actually geniuses) Or Why women live longer than men Written for Yugioh 5ds month.


**#1 Free cable**

Aki expected to see a lot of things on her way to see Yusei; trees, dogs, those kinds of things. But one thing she did not expect to see was a ladder on top of a rubber tarp leaning against a utility pole, with Crow on top while Jack stood watch.

"What the hell are you two doing?" She asked them.

"We think the cable companies charge too much, but the new season of Game of Thrones is running soon, so we're trying to get free HBO." Crow explained. "I saw this on the Simpsons; its perfectly safe."

"There isn't anything good on the channels we _actually_ have on a Thursday afternoon, so this is the only thing we could really think to do." Added Jack. "If you're looking for Yusei; he's inside. That selfish prat won't help us; says we're idiots."

"You two _are_ idiots." She told them. "I know exactly how this is going to end; Crow is going to fall off that ladder and I'm going to have to use my psychic powers to save him. Just make it quick."

"If you say so." Crow muttered, holding up the cord that ran through one of their windows. "Let's try the red one!"

He received a slight electric shock, but recovered quickly. "Okay, blue one, then."

This time the shock wasn't so light. It was so forceful in fact, that it knocked Crow backwards. Just like Aki predicted, she ended up having to use her powers to save Crow from his own stupidity. In order to guarantee she wouldn't have to do it again, she made sure to also snap the ladder in half.

"The tarp was supposed to protect me, why the hell didn't it work?" Crow wondered.

"That was our good ladder!" Jack shouted.

"I'm going to see Yusei now." Aki told them. "Do me a favor, and stop trying to win a Darwin Award."

* * *

 **#2 Jack vs. the iron**

"Oh, bloody hell, this hurts so much!"

The shouts of his friend snapped Yusei out of his thoughts and back into the real world.

"Why do these things even exist?"

Yusei followed the sound of Jack voice. He was very surprised to see the blond trying to iron one of his shirts, much less while he was still wearing it. Yusei knew he should say something, but he snapped a quick picture with his cell phone first, hoping it might help him get some more Twitter followers if he tweeted it.

"Jack, you know you're not supposed to iron your shirt while still wearing it, right?" He asked him.

"Why didn't anyone tell me about this?" Jack shouted. "The stupid iron came with a million warnings, but not one about this!"

Yusei wanted to make a joke about it being common sense to not try and iron your shirt while you were still in it, but Jack looked pretty angry. So he just walked off.

* * *

 **#3 Eggs**

What most people do not know, is that Crow really likes eggs. To the point of obsession, actually. He normally has fried or scrambled eggs in the morning, and a few hard-boiled eggs after work as a snack. What most people also do not know, is that Crow always forgets to boil the eggs ahead of time, and hates waiting for them to boil.

One day, however, he decided to try something new. If the microwave could cook hot pockets in three minutes, why couldn't it do the same for eggs? He popped three eggs in a ceramic bowl, placed it in the microwave, and set it for ten minutes, before going off to watch TV while they cooked.

Not two minutes later, Crow heard a strange pop sound coming from the kitchen. He walked in, only to find that his eggs had exploded. He groaned; this was gonna be a pain in the ass to clean.

Just as he was figuring out how to deal with the mess, Yusei walked in laughing.

"I was just texted Saiga, and he told me the craziest story." He told Crow. "Apparently, this one time, he and his friend got drunk, and tried to microwave some eggs. They exploded all over the microwave; he even sent me a picture he took of it after they'd sobered up a bit."

Yusei finally noticed the microwave, before look at Crow, and then back at the mess. "Please tell me you were at least a little tipsy."

"Nope; stone-cold sober."

Yusei walked out without another word.

* * *

 **#4 The freezer**

"That's just a bloody myth!" Argued Jack. "There's no way your tongue would get stuck to the freezer if you licked it, otherwise we'd see it on the news."

Crow shook his head. "No, I saw it in a movie; the kid licked the metal pole in the winter, and his tongue got stuck, its science."

"That's just a movie, and even if it did work with a metal pole, it would never work with the freezer; the mechanics are different." Jack told him. "I'll show you."

The blonde pressed his tongue to the wall of the freezer and held it there for a few moments, expecting to be able to remove it easily. When he found out that he couldn't, he panicked.

"Ha, I was right!" Crow said with a smirk, before changing his tune. "Oh crap, I was right. We need to get you unstuck as fast as possible, so you don't lose your tongue. In the movie, they just pulled the kid's tongue off the pole, so I guess you're just gonna have to do that."

Jack shook his head. Well, he did the closest thing to shaking his head that someone with their tongue stuck to a freezer could do.

"Okay, I see you're not too keen on that idea, but I thought of something else that could work; I'll pour hot water on your tongue and melt it away, sound good?"

Jack seemed more okay with this idea.

Unfortunately, Crow ended up using boiling hot water when just warm water would have worked. Jack got free, but he couldn't taste anything for a while afterwards.

* * *

 **Bonus: The time they were actually geniuses**

"I can't believe we never thought of this before." Said Crow. "Now we don't have to throw out our blender just because we broke the base."

"I never knew drills were so useful." Added Jack.

Just then, Yusei walked in.

"Have either of you see my drill around?" He asked them. "I really need it right now."

"We're kinda using it right now, Yusei." Crow told him.

"I'm afraid to ask what you're using it for."

"We're making smoothes." Said Jack. "The base of the blender broke, but we figured out how to use the drill to make the blades spin."

"That's actually pretty smart. What kind of smoothes are you making?"

"Strawberry banana, you want one?" Asked Crow.

"Sure, I guess I could use a break." Replied Yusei.

For the first time in a while, Yusei was proud of his friends. The blender thing was genius, especially considering how many times the two of them had almost accidentally died.


End file.
